November 07, 2004

I should have written your poem this morning, but I was too lazy and my thoughts were too boring

Mr. Shamai, I love you dearly
And so, I’m compelled to write this poem sincerely
Today was a day that shouldn’t be missed
That I was trapped in DC makes me pissed

I hope you received the best birthday wishes
-and lots of cute boys gave you big birthday kisses
I’m not talking little pecks on the cheek
I’m talking kisses that stay on your lips all week

I hope you got some quality presents
Good music, good books, perhaps a few peasants!
Though peasants aren’t exactly PC
Perhaps instead, little elves the size of large fleas

Regardless of what kind of presents you got
Or attention received from boys that are hot
I hope your birthday was fun and amazing
Hope your birthday dinner fulfilled every craving

Happy Birthday, Shamai
You’ve survived another year
As usual, I’m so sad
I couldn’t be there

Much Love,


Posted by j*2the*olie at 09:35 PM

October 08, 2004

For Once It's Not Belated

Erica and Jolie in Tahoe.jpg

Dear Best Friend, it’s been 2 years in a row
That I have missed your birthday due to being far from home
Once again, I am stuck out here in DC
Missing out on all of your birthday glee

If I were there, I’m sure, we would paint the town red
We would dance all night till our legs were like lead
Alas, my daydreams are to no avail
The best I can do is say, “you’re present’s in the mail.”

On this, the celebration of your 26th year
You deserve a host of things that will make you cheer (and perhaps smidgen of something Queer)
You deserve a parade down Oakland’s streets
You deserve Missy E mixin you your very own beats

You deserve to spend all day in your big comfy bed
With leagues of hot women keeping you happy and fed
Or, you could just spend your whole day with Sophia
She’s funny, smart, cute, and couldn’t be sweeatah

However you spend your birthday this year
Please know I wish I could be there

I miss you too much. Happy Birthday!



Posted by j*2the*olie at 01:08 PM

August 21, 2004

Who Woulda Thunk It, Nashville Can Suck It

Since Michele hasn’t written to update everyone on her and Kim’s whereabouts, I will take the lead. As of noon, Pacific Standard Time, our girls were in Mt. Vernon, Illinois taking in the sights, smells, and sounds of the annual Watermelon and Corn festival. You might think you are getting fun pictures of this later, but you’re not. Apparently, the sights at Illinois’ Watermelon and Corn festival involve neither watermelon nor corn. Not in real size, super giant size, or mini size. Only scads of cheerleaders and a giant blow-up Scooby Doo – which I’m pretty sure we have all seen before.

After all of this excitement, their original plans involved heading down south to Nashville, but then they realized that they could visit me instead! I believe Kim’s exact words were, "Nashville can suck it." So they called me and told me the plan and I said, "Yes indeed, Nashville CAN suck it. I am cooler than Nashville any day." So there you have it. They are rolling in Tuesday afternoon and spending the night. Saweet.

If anyone else wants to join us, come on over! No need to call ahead.

Posted by j*2the*olie at 02:26 PM

May 20, 2004

Brilliant and Hillarious

Trust Me. (and turn the sound up)

Posted by j*2the*olie at 02:17 PM

April 27, 2004

back in action!

hey everybody! it's been too long. i think the problem is that my creative writing juices are being sucked up by the ass-load of papers i have to write, and it leaves me nothing much great to write about to y'all. nevertheless, i thought i'd post today, since it's the first time i've been on movable type for ages. i actually figured out how to delete comments ALL BY MYSELF!! frankly, the comments weren't that offensive, but i think i'm high with the power of being able to delete a comment that someone far off made on my site. just try to welcome threequarters back to cementhorizon life! i'll delete your ass so fast you'll be... you'll be... well, when i think of something funny that you will be, i'll let you know.

in other news, this guy came over to see one of our vacant rooms (three people are moving out in june... it is so much sadness) and we realized we had music theory class together all freshman year! 8 o'clock in the fucking morning, 5 days a week, two semesters. it was a total shock for both of us, especially realizing that that was *6 YEARS AGO*. six years. i'm amazed he recognized me, i was usually buried in oversized hoodies and barely had my eyes open in that class. he knows trevor c. and reminded me of a beautiful moment, when we all had to compose original pieces of music at the end of the year, when he had trevor c. sing his composition, which entailed a lot of falsetto singing about the joys of dental floss. ahhh, freshman year. anyway, i think he's going to move in. i'm hoping he doesn't have too many expectations for what i'll be like based on my freshman self. i don't know, have i changed that much? i feel like i'm a different person, but i'm probably not. my hair's just curlier, and that's just a perm.

Posted by ms*d at 12:28 PM

March 09, 2004

Colonization Anyone?

I’m just curious, has anybody else around here noticed that we’ve successfully managed to take over yet another country? Our great nation has, in fact, orchestrated a coup d'état right under everyone’s noses and kidnapped a fucking president and nobody seems to give a rat’s ass. They aren’t even pretending to deny it! Ok, it’s true, they are trying to say that Aristide boarded the US planes on his own free will. This is the part that the mainstream media like to pay attention to. But they are leaving out the fact that the US has openly admitted to prompting his resignation. According to Roger Noriega, assistant U.S. secretary of state for Western Hemisphere affairs, the whole thing went down like this…

US – You know, the “rebels” funded by US tax dollars and armed with US guns are on their way to kill you and your wife. Don’t count on your security guards helping you out because the White House has already put in a threatening call to stop them. We’re gonna stand back and watch you die unless you sign a letter of resignation and leave Haiti immediately.

Aristide – I will leave Haiti, but I will not resign.

US – So you choose death?

Aristide – where are the papers?

US – Right here bitch, we’ve had them drawn up for weeks. Now get on the plane.

Aristide – where are you taking me

US – None of your damn business.

Clearly this is the abridged version, but it’s not too far off. Read the transcripts for yourself. That’s the scariest part. The accounts from US officials aren’t very different from Aristide’s account of what happened. The disagreement is over semantics like “encouraged under pressure and fear for one’s life” versus “kidnapped and held against one’s will.”

So why isn’t anyone paying attention? Our government, which is supposed to hail Democracy and justice, just kidnapped a democratically elected president. Several members of congress are outraged and have called an investigation. Yet, when I bring Haiti up with friends or colleagues – all of whom are well-educated, social justice minded people, nobody seems to know what the hell I’m talking about. Now, I know I’m kind of a news junkie, but this is getting ridiculous. Is taking over nations such a routine practice by this point that it’s not even worth our time to take notice?

Posted by j*2the*olie at 07:58 PM

February 25, 2004


Today I had a bonding moment with my staff when we took 45 seconds out of our weekly meeting time to scream really really loud. We didn’t warn anyone, so the incident brought several colleagues peeking through the office door and calling to make sure everything was ok. When we were through, everyone had a big smile on their face and you could feel the relief in the room.

Sometimes it’s important to take time to scream.


Posted by j*2the*olie at 05:17 PM

February 09, 2004

I'm Comin Home!!!

I am ecstatic to announce that I will be coming home this summer to work alongside Michele at USF! I just got the job about 20 minutes ago. It’s nowhere close to the BART, so I’ll have to talk to Jason and Tanya about familiarizing myself with the San Francisco bus system - but the position comes with room, board, a plane ticket out there, and good pay to boot! Hard to beat, indeed.

Posted by j*2the*olie at 02:23 PM

glitter cats and bellydance


michele ma belle...

when i first met you, you taught me how to do my hair and we made the basement of langlow our haven of girly fun-ness, not to mention a hide-out from janelle.

you have supplemented my wardrobe with innumerable articles of clothing.

you have sent me more postcards than everyone i have ever known combined.

you were one of the first to figure out the key to "erica time", namely, lying to me about when events start to get me there in a timely manner (this post is, as you can see, done in "erica time" as well).

you put up with my messiness for more years than anyone else. except maybe jacob.

you've watched me fall in and out of crushes and loves and crushes i thought were loves, and though you knew how things would work out, you waited patiently each time for me to figure it out myself.

you are always there for me, and you are always right.

i love you, sweetness. happy birthday.


Posted by ms*d at 12:12 AM

February 04, 2004

You should always take your heart medicine before looking under the couch…

To the Squirrel Community of Riverdale Maryland:

The residents of “4909” hereby request that you maintain a safe and reasonable distance from our unused chimney, fireplace, and all other entities of the interior residence. The events that have recently transpired have caused undue trauma to us as well as a member of your own constituency. We hope to maintain a respectful, distanced relationship in an effort to avoid any further conflicts or potential casualties. Thank you very much for your consideration.


The House of Five


Posted by j*2the*olie at 07:06 PM

More Entries

I should have written your poem this morning, but I was too lazy and my thoughts were too boring - November 07, 2004
For Once It's Not Belated - October 08, 2004
Who Woulda Thunk It, Nashville Can Suck It - August 21, 2004
Brilliant and Hillarious - May 20, 2004
back in action! - April 27, 2004
Colonization Anyone? - March 09, 2004
AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! - February 25, 2004
I'm Comin Home!!! - February 09, 2004
glitter cats and bellydance - February 09, 2004
You should always take your heart medicine before looking under the couch… - February 04, 2004
So Much Snow - January 26, 2004
Best Winter Break EVER! - January 17, 2004
In Addition to the Natural Disasters - December 26, 2003
Wintry Mix Anyone??? - December 14, 2003
Birthday Thanks - December 10, 2003
don't worry jason, I'm sure you're the bigger pomo ho - December 09, 2003
happy birthday, beautiful. - December 07, 2003
Ode to Persnickety - November 30, 2003
Why the East Coast Sucks: A Qualitative Study - November 30, 2003
In the News… - November 20, 2003
kids these days - November 15, 2003
I'm DNA! How fun is that? - November 11, 2003
that's what I'M talkin' about! - October 29, 2003
In the Midst of Midterms - October 28, 2003
Fires - October 26, 2003
Pre-Halloween POCR Night - October 25, 2003
it's the beginning of the end... - October 23, 2003
Week of Lame - October 21, 2003
Happy National Coming Out Day! - October 11, 2003
Six Years ‘Till Thirty! - October 07, 2003
Our President the Poet - October 04, 2003
House passes partial birth abortion ban - October 02, 2003
Best Job Ever - September 29, 2003
The Best Friend Test - September 26, 2003
A Time for Reflection - September 24, 2003
So Much Cuteness - September 22, 2003
Hurricane Isabel = LAME - September 20, 2003
Hurricane Isabel - September 16, 2003
Jolie and Football? - September 13, 2003
The Votes are In - September 11, 2003
distractions are always nice - September 06, 2003
Best Weekend Ever - August 31, 2003
weather - August 29, 2003
Yeah for not hating life! - August 28, 2003
it's been nice knowing all y'all... - August 24, 2003
Larry Flynt Rocks My World - August 01, 2003
What do Lesbians, Thai Food, and Arrested Development have in common? They might get me through the next two years. - July 27, 2003
Remembering Aaron - July 22, 2003
The Journey Begins - July 01, 2003
Disneyland Highlights - June 28, 2003
Jolie, you've been stuck in Orange County for over a week with your disfunctional family! What are you gonna do next??? - June 26, 2003
AIDS, Statistics, and What the Fuck? - June 26, 2003
please don't crash! please don't crash! - June 26, 2003
I'll see your lemons and I'll raise you a glass of lemonade...damn tastey - June 24, 2003
Tiny Monkeys - June 23, 2003
A Letter to Liz Phair - June 23, 2003
Depressed in Dana Point - June 23, 2003
Close Call - June 15, 2003
Before and After - May 18, 2003
fucking beautiful - May 05, 2003
STARKERS!!! - April 30, 2003
Verbatim - March 29, 2003
Restoring my Faith - March 29, 2003
But Can They Write Musicals??? - March 24, 2003
Keeping the Enemy Close - March 20, 2003
Gurlz Gone Wild Part II - March 11, 2003
Greetings from Planet Cali - March 10, 2003
lookin' for lesbians? move along... - March 03, 2003
For Gene - February 26, 2003
Gurlz Gone Wild – Part I - February 26, 2003
you make me happier than snails - February 13, 2003
- February 08, 2003
Top 10 Reasons that Earthquakes are Fun - February 02, 2003
missin my roomie already - February 01, 2003
tizz the season - January 26, 2003
disconcerting dreams - January 25, 2003
BABES IN DREAMLAND - January 22, 2003

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