Cutest: Being told by a 6-year-old on the Autopia ride “OK, you take the pedal and I’ll steer!”
Most Fun: Riding on California Screamin’ for the 3rd time right before they closed the park and thinking “wow, this time didn’t make me want to puke nearly as much as the first two times did!”
Grossest: 4-D “A Bug’s Life” movie in the Disney California Adventure park. First, a stink bug sprays the audience and the auditorium fills with an inundating mist of stench. Then, at the end of the movie, the narrator says “please stay seated until the termites and grubs have had a chance to exit the theatre.” When he says this, parts of the seat raise up and it actually feels like you have hundreds of bugs crawling under your ass. Gross Gross Gross.
Coolest: Being there when the park opened at 6:30am, so no one else was there and all of the rides were empty. Within 30 minutes, I rode on Indiana Jones, Thunder Mountain, the Materhorn, and Start Tours. I would have gone on Space Mountain too, except for how it’s closed until 2005! Can you believe that bullshit? Apparently they are adding a bunch of stuff to it though.
And last, but not least in the least…Most Embarrassing:
Setting – The Aladdin stage show. This is part of the new California Adventure park. It’s a full (Broadway) scale show in a plush concert hall that seats between 3,000-4,000 people. We are sitting in the center of the Mezzanine section (so, essentially, we are at the epicenter of the concert hall).
20 minutes into the show: A cell phone rings. At first, I can’t place it. But then the owner answers it, and the guy is sitting in the row behind me, and to my left about 3 seats over. He doesn’t have a conversation. He just says, “hello…ok, bye.” People give him dirty looks, but nothing major. And the show goes on.
5 minutes later: The guy’s cell phone rings again. Halfway into the first ring, my father (who is in my row, about 4 seats to my right…. Making him separated from the guy with the cell phone by a good 7 seats) LEAPS UP, pushes past the people who are in the way, and yells at the top of his lungs “TURN THE CELL PHONE OFF, RIGHT NOW, DO YOU HEAR ME, TURN IT OFF OR I WILL COME OVER THERE AND TAKE IT FROM YOU!!!” Mind you, my father is a large black man with a voice that carries better than mine (and that’s sayin something).
Our entire section was scared shitless. And I stand firm in my belief that the only reason the ushers didn’t haul my father off is because they were scared of him too.